I Got You, Brandt

In Honour of Lord Brandt das Lederwerker being squired to Sir Evander MachLachlan*

Sung to the tune of "I Got You, Babe" by Sonny and Cher

by Laird Colyne Stewart and Lady Thorfinna gra'feldr

Evander:    They say that now that I'm a knight,

                   I have to train some others how to fight.

Brandt:             Well, I've been fighting for several years,

                        But to date I've not been doing it for Peers.

Evander:    Brandt. I've got you Brandt. I've got you Brandt.

                        They say you know how to swing a stick,

                        And that your armoured legs are not too thick.

Brandt:             They say you like to gobble food up,

                        But only if its slathered in ketchup.

Evander:    Brandt. I've got you Brandt. I've got you Brandt.

                        I've got butt wraps to cause pain,

                        I've got you to wear my chain.

Brandt:             And when I'm bad...

Evander:    Oh yeah!

Brandt:             You're my dad!

Evander:    I'm your dad!

Brandt:             And you'll straighten me out fast!

                        Don't let 'em say that you're too small,

                        'Cause your heart is bigger then 'em all.

Evander:           Then put my belt about your waist,

                        There's no opposition we can't face.

Brandt. I've got you Brandt. I've got you Brandt.

                        I've got you to wash my car...

Brandt:             I've got you to take me far!

Evander:    I've got you to make me stuff...

Brandt:             I've got you to treat me rough!

Evander:    I've got you to lug my gear...

Brant:               I've got you to install fear!

Evander:    I've got you to mow my grass...

Brandt:             I've got you to kick my ass!

Evander:    I've got you Brandt. (x7)

* A note upon the text. At Brandt's squiring (at Pennsic War XXXII, the "bloody muddy Pennsic") he and Evander sat side by side, the better to conspire together. To onlookers it appeared as if they were gazing into each others’ face. Thorfinna began to hum "I Got You, Brandt" and this is the inevitable result.

For my Teachers

Colyne Stewart, July AS XXXVII (2003)

One year it took, to make my armour,

To train, to authorize

And the help of many came to me

Along the way.

But there were five who stood out

Who taught me how to fight

(or rather how to die)

how to face a charge, throw a blow

and take one.

First was Berus, Jarl and Knight,

Fresh from his reign as King

Who took two newbies under his wing

Taught without pushing, hit without thrashing.

From whom we learned our basics

Then Eanor, Duchess, who taught us

Tactics and enforced out throws.

Then the fighters of Skeldergate, too long to list,

But chief amongst them

Streonwald, Hlaford, who took me aside,

Adjusted my shot,

And finally got me to use my hips.

Then Kenric, Squire, who improved my stance

And got me throwing combos.

Finally, Brandt, leather-Lord,

One of our first, but listed last

As his training time was greatest

Nights spent in his yard, throwing at pells,

Days spent in the shieldwall while he poked and prodded.

I only hope that they know how much their time has meant to us

And that any glory that I win,

I lay at their feet.

To my teachers

Wassail

And Thanks.