I’ve got a Bruise

Colyne Stewart, October AS XXXVII (2003)

Sung to the tune of “The Song of the Northern Wanderers” (more often known as “Home”) by Master Hector of the Black Height.

Dedicated to all the fighters mentioned within, who always inspire me to push myself harder.

Chorus:

I’ve got a bruise, bruise, bruise on the list field.

I’ve got a bruise, bruise, the size of Ealdormere (x2)

My bones are tired, my muscles are sore

I don’t know if I’ll fight anymore

I’ve got a big bruise on the side of my leg

From getting hit by a honking big glaive

Chorus

In the Bear Pit I just fought Ron

He had two sticks, I only had one

He beat me so soundly around ‘bout my head

Fifty-two times in one fight I’m dead

Chorus

My shield is dented, my sword is all chipped,

My armour is pierced, and my tabard is ripped,

My helm lies in pieces down on the floor

Rivets, not duct tape, I’ll use ever more

Chorus

Domhnaill hit me right ‘bove the calf

As I dropped dead I could not but laugh

Hidden behind Thorfinna’s round shield

Only Domhnaill’s feet were revealed

Chorus

My Thegn he likes me, I make a great pell

I’m quite the target in the land where I dwell

I have to learn some better defense

Cynred’s head shots are giving me sense

Chorus

I’ve fought with Berus, Ed the red too

And I’ve fought with kings, like good subjects do

Kenric and Wat, whom I both adore

Keep sending me down to lie on the floor

Chorus

I may be battered and I may be bruised

Why do I do it I’ve often mused

Fighting’s such fun, man do I love it,

These signs of affection I’m learning to covet

Chorus